it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
