She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
