That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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