so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
