I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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