I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
