I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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