Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
