Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
