I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
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