So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
