i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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