My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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