yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
