it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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