Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
