Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
