Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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