I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
