her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
