That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
