I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize