do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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