this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
