He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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