Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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