You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
