my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
