i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
