Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
