You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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