I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I wear drunk well.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
