why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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