i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
