Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize