is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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