that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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