was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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