Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
