Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
