"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
