Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize