I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I cut my penus on the lid.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
