Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
