you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
