I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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