I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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