Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
