We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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