In the future we'll all be gay
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
