I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize