I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
