you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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