just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
