it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
