your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize