Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
