Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
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