he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
