I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize