my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
