My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
