i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
