Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
